The authors responsibilites to readers is to relay truth in a manner that sparks interest but does not lose the real aspect. Truth is an honest account of experience. Because differing perspectives are to be expected, an author can account for such different perspectives through disclaimers. Disclaimers can be put either at the beginning of the essay or throughout. An examples of such disclaimers can be: "The actions that follow can be depicted in so many ways."
The lines that absolutely cannot be crossed are those that transform the essay from non-fiction to fiction. Adding events or people to exaggerate the story for interest cannot be done. Even omitting key elements of a story can change it's nature from non-fiction to fiction.
I'm still torn in the areas of rounding corners, changing names and making composite characters. In situations where revealing too much information about a situation or person can possibly lead to legal reactions or consequences, then yes, I think it is a reasonable action. However I do not think that it is justifiable to simply avoid unpleasant reations than will eventually blow over from relatives or friends closely related to the situation. If the author finds the subject worthy enough to be exposed, then the author should be prepared to take the reactions and criticism of those involved or related.
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Your comment about avoiding "unpleasant relations" looks to me like some real commitment to writing from the heart. I think that is very brave.
And I agree that leaving key information out has the power to change nonfiction to fiction.
Most of the time I think telling the truth is probably impossible - probably because there isn't any.
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