Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Analysis of Personal Essay
The focus of my personal essay is about having and being caught between two completely different loves, yet attempting to get the same thing from both -- acceptance and affection. One type of love takes the form of the relationship I had with my mom, and the other takes the form of a friendship that develops beyond a platonic realm, into a place where the relationship that develops puts a strain on the original relationship.
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You have put the focus of your essay very clearly here. This should make revising the essay much easier. In light of this focus, are there any parts of the essay you need to develop in more depth? Any parts you can delete?
Would it make sense to have more of a focus in the PRESENT (rather than beginning so far back in your childhood)? Or maybe you could cut back to one representative incident to provide the reader with the feeling for your connection to your mother?
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